olive - you're not alone (atb mix)

They tread water together for hours, finally feeling the storm pass. Slowly the sea quelled and the waves faded. The clouds thinned and the sky cleared. By the time it ended the sun was gone and they were left in a dark ocean, exposed to a dark sky. The stars had returned, infinitely clear and devastatingly beautiful. He thought about the last time he had seen them, how perfect that night had been and how different things were now. He felt the urge to grit his teeth in anger at the absurdity of it all but couldn't find the strength. His legs were numb from hours of pumping and the fatigue was pervasive. The only solace he could find was that they were in the South Pacific, at least they weren't freezing.
        "Will anyone come for us?", she asked quietly. Her voice was rough, parched.
        "No one's expecting us for another five days. I don't know that they'll even get worried until a couple of days after that.", he answered honestly. "There was a distress beacon on the boat, but I don't know if it activated or how far we were carried from it. And I doubt it can be picked up once the boat drops a few hundred feet under water."
        He didn't want to have this conversation, he didn't want to break her, but in the back of his mind he had been going through the possibilities for hours. He knew what they were facing and some of the scenarios he imagined were incredibly frightening.
        She raised her head from his shoulder and looked at him for the first time since they had reunited in the storm.
        "What do we do?", she asked innocently.
        "What do we do?", he thought. What do we do? It was the same thing he had been asking himself the entire time they were being thrown about on the waves, enduring the stinging rain and biting wind. What do we do? As the hours passed and with them went the storm he kept returning to it. What do we do?
        He looked into her eyes, faint in the darkness. He stared at her for a long time, the way he had always done, attempting to memorize her, make her an insoluble, inseparable part of his mind. This time was different and he knew it, as if all the others were only practice preparing him for the time that would eventually come, the time when he truly would only have the memory. Here she was, hundreds of miles from the world, ravaged by the worst that nature has to offer, nearly drowned and beaten down by hours spent fighting for her life. Here she was, still the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. He held her close, held her firm, held her like he owned her.
        "I'm so sorry that I got you here, got you into this.", he said, feeling the tears welling.
        "Shhh. Baby, no...", she put two fingers to his lips, "there's no time for that. If I couldn't be with you... I wouldn't want to be." Her tears rolled as she spoke.
        He held her quietly for a long while, looking out over the water. It was remarkably calm now, almost glassy. He was only able to see twenty or so feet into the night, but was sure that the tranquility stretched to the horizon in all directions. There was no sound of the wind, no sound of the waves. Nothing.

        "We can't stay here.", he said in a voice of brittle stone.
        She understood what he meant. Once the night passed they would be facing the relentless sun. They had no water and no real idea how long the wait would be. And there were other things, things that lurked beneath them even now. The thought of either of them watching helplessly as the other endured something agonizing was horrific. She ushered it from her mind but let it's aura remain to bolster her conviction as to what course they must follow.
        " What do we do?", she asked again, already cognizant of the answer but needing to hear it out loud.
        "We dive.", he pulled back to look at her as he said it. "We swim as far as we can. Then it will be too far to make it back."
        She didn't say a word, her face amazingly calm, almost relieved. She pulled to him again, slowly this time, embracing him tightly. She nodded her head.
        The thin, waxing moon was rising and they watched it come up. He reflected on everything, running through the long list of life's memories in his mind, but finding it difficult to concentrate on anything previous to their day in the department store. The last six months is what he would miss the most, the days that had held the true happiness, the times that had offered the most promise. It wasn't so bad, this ending. There had been so much to fill his recent life compared to the hollow years of the past. It was impossible to argue that a moment this intense, this genuine, this rich was out of place. He would not grow old. He would not die alone. He would not reminisce. He would not fade into oblivion. He would not weaken. He would discorporate at the absolute apex of his life's peak, the height of love's ardor. He could find no sadness in that.
        The held each other silently for a long while.

        "I want to go.", she said, slightly startling him.
        She pulled back to look at him in the inadequate moonlight and he nodded to her.
        He leaned in and kissed her, exactly as anyone would kiss if they knew it was to be the last time. It conveyed every ounce of gentle caring, soft confidence and overwhelming passion that his heart contained. She knew what she was to him, but in that kiss he reiterated it to her with the totality of his being. He wanted to convey it one last time, wanted to convey it intensely to make up for all the times he would never get to do so again.
        He could taste a saltiness, but even surrounded by the largest salt water mass in the world he recognized it clearly as the tears that were streaming down her face to their lips.
        When they finally broke she took his face in her hands, her voice faltering. "Don't let me go.", she stated strongly.
        He gripped her upper arms tightly, reassuringly. "Never."
        She smiled even as her body heaved with the sobs escaping her lungs. "I'll see you soon.", she offered softly.
        He exhaled as hard as he could, then leaned in and kissed her one last time, short and sweet.
        She breathed out hard and together they cadenced their descent, nodding their heads once, twice, thrice. As they began to slip beneath the water she lunged and kissed him again, locked to him as they descended into the deep.
        Once below the surface he was again hit with the peaceful sensation of solitude as the world above evaporated. They turned and pointed their bodies downward, holding hands as they drove themselves toward the bottom. He wasn't pulling her and he didn't feel pulled. Together they kicked and kicked, diving deeper and deeper in synchronicity. They continued on until he knew it was coming, could sense it throughout himself completely. He couldn't tell if his eyes were open or closed, nothing but soft, warm, darkness all around. There was no panic. There was no pain. There was no fear. There was no sensation other than the feeling of her fingers gently holding his.

        And then there was nothing.

 yanou - on and on

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couple embracing in water

couple diving